Monday, March 21, 2011

#2 - Ummmm.....really?

Ok, so I have this other experience.  We'll call him "Rich".  Now Rich, he's one that took some work to try to even get to know.  He's SOOOO busy.  Starts off communicating wonderfully.  Well....sorta.  I simply e-mailed him to tell him I thought he had a wonderful smile, even though he was looking for someone younger than me & shorter than me (he's 3" shorter than I am).  I never figured in a million years he'd want to meet.  No offense, but I've yet to encounter a man who even remotely wants to get to know someone taller than him.  Well, Rich was THRILLED with the idea & went on & on about how "sexy" the idea was.  First clue as to how he was going to be.  "Sexy"....seriously?  Ok, so give the benefit of the doubt.

So, one evening I'm talking with him & he clearly demonstrated behavior I didn't particularly care for.  #1 - he was irritated that I was cooking dinner while talking & when I said, "I can multitask", he actually had the nerve to say "no you can't" & then even went so far as to tell me that I don't listen well then & couldn't even tell him correctly what he said in a previous conversation."  Ok, so after I picked my mouth up off the floor & checked my "who the heck do you think you are" attitiude, I told him, pretty much verbatim, what he had previously said.  So, take that & shut up already!  Then I asked him "how is it that you think that you have time to try to get to know anyone, much less form a relationship, with the hours you work & how unapproachable you are to having conversations?" (basically you can only talk to him when it's good for him....."reads: while he's driving home")  So he says, "Look!  I'll tell you like I told my ex-wife, if you can't deal with the hours that I work & all the money I provide for you so you can have nice things and take the vacations you want, then you're not the girl for me."  So, when he got finished with that tirade, I calmly asked, "so when are you going to answer the question & not tell me what you told your ex-wife, but what you'd do now?"  That irritated him.  (Made me laugh!)  So, he rephrased it to basically say the same thing in the present tense, instead of past tense.  Ok....I already know you're not the man for me so it doesn't even matter if you think I'm the girl for you.

So, we originally had planned to meet on Friday, March 11 at a sports bar for a drink & get to know each other better.  I didn't hear from him for several days prior to that, even after I'd left a message & a text.  So, I figured "ok, he must not be interested anymore.  No big deal."  Then at 3:30p that day I get a text "are we still on?"  LOL!  I wasn't going to go since I hadn't heard from him for days & quite frankly, b/c he seemed like a jerk, but I thought "what the heck. I'm in the mood for a cocktail & a little time outta the house.  Why not."  Again, decided to give him the benefit of the doubt....maybe he's just not a phone person, and his ex-wife's daughters always want to spend their time off from college with him, and not their own mother so maybe he's worth trying to get to know.


Granted, he was VERY good looking, and had a killer smile, but man....what a jerk!  Even worse than on the phone!  Immediately upon sitting down at the table, he starts texting someone ( perhaps!?! LOL!)  Then he just HAD to watch a certain basketball game on a certain screen in the bar & kept after the waitress until the manager got it on the screen he wanted.  I was like, "Seriously?  Why don't you just switch seats?"  Hello????  Now from my seat I'm watching the devastation that happened with the tsunami in Japan that day & commented on that.  He gives it a cursory glance & then comments on what a great shot that was that some player just made.  Good grief, have you no compassion, man?!  When he asked me, "So, tell me about yourself, other than you lose your temper easily."  REALLY, you want to start out a conversation like that?  I just laughed & said, "No I don't!" to which he replied, "Uh, do!"  WHERE'S THAT DANG BEER ALREADY WAITRESS!!!!!  Then I could tell he wasn't paying a bit of attention to me, so in the middle of my sentence I said, "so I just put on a red wig, clown nose & big shoes & went out for the night."  Surprised me, he caught it!  (I'll admit when I'm busted!)

Well, we stayed long enough for 2 beers & an appetizer & the conversation really was going nowhere.  Oh wait, he did compliment my purse.  I jokingly said, "You'll never guess how much it cost." & he replied, "$100?"  Why wasn't I surprised?  When I said no, he kept guessing higher & higher.  I'm like, "Um no, try $5!"  Yeah!  We are as different as night & day, folks.  I don't think I'd spend $100 on a purse if my life depended on it & it seems to be his norm....thus, why I call him "Rich".

Well, Richie boy tried everything in the book to get me to go home with him: "We'll just watch a movie", "we'll just hang out", etc., etc.  He did NOT like that I said "No.  I don't know you at all to go somewhere alone with you."  His profile said he was looking for a relationship & not just one night stands.  Uh-huh!  Maybe you can find that sweet thing & fool her, but not me.

Lord, I always pray that you'll reveal the true essence of someone's character to me up front.  Thank you for putting in me the heart to give people the benefit of the doubt, but then for giving me the smarts to see past the REALLY good looks to the person's heart....and see what isn't there....and showing me the value of a person. Sure saves a lot of heartache & disappointment if I actually LISTEN!

Oh...and Rich.....haven't heard a word from him since that nite.  SHOCKER!  LOL!!!  The trevails of "dating" in the Internet age!


  1. Good for you that you immediately saw what he was about. Also congrats that you stood to your own integrity and didn't bend one millimeter to give him the benefit of the doubt any more. Over time, you'll get to the point where you'll notice the tell-tale signs sooner and don't have to waste your time on an actual outing/date. But it takes practice. Don't be afraid to go with your gut more and give them "less" benefits of the doubt. Your gut is right on, and with more time (wasting of yours) you just prove what you already sensed earlier. Best to save your energy for higher caliber guys. And contrary to what others may say, a Christian girl can be still a good soul if she says no to just being friends when a date goes sour. If he's not a match as a potential suitor (cuz you just don't relate well, etc), the same criteria holds true for friendships. Take it from someone who has been there. I wish you the best and God's continued Blessings and wisdom!- Ella

  2. Nice to met you! So glad you didn't fall for this Rich...It has got to be tough being a single mom...So glad you have a good sense of humor and are leaning on the Lord during this time. Blessings to you!

  3. Hello from Texas! Thanks for following my blog! I am now following yours as well...
    And what a great story to start off with! No One needs to be talked down to like he did you! My advice? when in doubt...RUN!Hahaaaa

  4. Yeah I can't stand when people text on dates and such. Unless it is a dire emergency your convo with your friends etc. can wait