I'm learning so incredibly much about myself in this waiting period. I read recently on two new blogging buddies' posts about waiting. You'll find one here , read "When promise seems lost and you're sick of waiting". What struck me most in this is "Waiting stretches faith and tests our human condition." and "Unable to see the path before us, because if we saw then trust would be irrelevant" followed by "How do we follow promist to it's appointed time?"
And the other here read "When God Is Silent". What got me here was, "nothing prepares us for His silence" and especially Edith Hamilton's quote: "Faith is not faith until it's all you're holding onto."
We rush to try to make or create love because our hearts are lonely and we long to be held and loved and cherished. When we don't get the right person, or even a decent person for that matter, do we settle for less; do we lower our standards; or worse yet, do we then compromise our values, our principles, our beliefs, or our "selves" in order to please someone else to find us appealing and lovable? The problem with that is that we become someone other than who we really are. We suppress our true self. If we do this, we then become who the other person wants us to be...what they are looking for.
I don't know about you, but if someone can't, doesn't, or won't love me and accept me for "me", the true me, they don't deserve me. Cause I'm pretty dang special! I view myself as a wonderfully intriguing, beautifully wrapped gift that God has placed on the highest shelf. Only the man who is interested, intrigued, curious enough will do the work to delicately take the box off the shelf and gingerly, patiently unwrap it with awestruck wonder. He will peel away all the layers; those defensive wall that have built up from years of hurt (that, admittedly, I've tried to break down with God's help...but hey....I am human!)
I'm holding out for that man. The one who wants to discover the facets of who God created this creature, Merana, to be. And that takes time....careful, prayerful consideration. Not tear open the package & say "Well, looky here what I found."
We are a treasure....each of us....brought forth by the Master creator! It's time to start thinking of ourselves as such!
Romans 8:24 ~ But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?
Merana- Well said! I wholeheartedly understand your struggle and excitement about waiting. Waiting is done in an active mode, where we live with great gusto and while we are living......he arrives (if it's God's will). I'm looking forward to checking out those links you have included. Many wonderful and wise women before us have exercised their faith in the process of waiting. I love the quotes you shared.
ReplyDeleteI have many things I have written in this space of waiting which sometime I'll share on my blog. I just have not gotten around to it yet. So much to write about :) But I certainly understand the questions and doubts that creep in when we hear silence. Prayers apparently go unanswered.....and we wonder if He's even listening. This is such a complex matter. If only it could be so simple as us praying for a Divine partner and he arrives first thing the next morning. I'm sure to some it has occurred that quickly, but certainly for most it has not. Then what? ......Then the walk of faith commences. And boy what a journey that is!! I have been on that journey over 11 yrs now.
I can tell you that in this time, I have gained and learned so much. My faith has been put to the test for dang sure! So I have mixed feelings about calling this a waiting period. Because God wants me fully engaged in living and doing....not waiting. If it's God's will to bless me in other ways (and not to bring a partner), then I certainly don't want to be blind to the gifts he gives me. I don't want to be a person who is busy looking at the door (expecting a man to walk through) and I'm so focused on that door that I miss out on the beautiful things He is bringing into my world.
Walk forward in hope.....and faith sister! - Hugs and appreciation, Ella
After reading and commenting on your blog, I was motivated to find a piece I had written and post in my blog. "Season of Expectancy" is dedicated to you and all the wonderful women who must hang onto hope and faith.-Ella
ReplyDeleteHi Merana,
ReplyDelete"We are a treasure...each of us...brought forth by the Master creator!" -- What an excellent way of expressing the value God places on us.
As I read this, I thought about what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails..."
I guess what I'm trying to say is that both men and women need to pursue love together. I think it's so unfair to focus on what the other person in the relationship must fulfill. I believe with everything that is in me that what caused my marriage to fail was having a focus on what the other person was or was not doing; choosing instead to conserve the commitment of individual love. Even the best marriages/relationships struggle at times, but what gets a couple through those struggles is a desire, passion, and commitment to love the other person.
Don't get me wrong, both people in a relationship have a responsibility and obligation to love, otherwise there will be problems. But I've come to realize that being in a marriage/relationship without real commitment is pointless. Love, marriage, or relationship is a marathon, and if a person doesn't have the stamina and endurance to love, then they're going to drop out of the race.
I don't know what lies ahead of me regarding relationship, but I believe with all my heart that the woman who chooses to be a part of my life will experience all the love and romance I can exhaust each day I live; it's a choice I gladly make because I want to love her.
I don't want her to speculate whether I love her; there will be no doubt regarding my love for her. Her focus shouldn't be, "Does MTJ love me?" If she has to ask that question, she will no doubt believe that I don't. She should focus on, How can I love MTJ more today?
I have no desire to test the waters, examining women like I'm at a fish market. I know what I want and I have to believe that she does too. For me, it comes down to that one woman loving me for me. I'm definitely going to love her for who she is.
This post gave me a lot to think about.
Blessings and peace.
MTJ